Being a solo missionary can be extremely difficult and lonely. I know that when I served in Uganda as a solo missionary, I often felt like I was alone in the world without support or member care. Free missionary debriefing prompts can also help you process stress, transition, grief, and life overseas. It’s also a greater risk for solo missionaries to experience sexual or spiritual abuse, to develop anxiety and depression, vicarious trauma, and cumulative grief. If not educated beforehand, being single in missions can lead to burnout, the white savior complex, and a lack of accountability.
But I knew God had impressed the call on my heart, and I was obedient to go alone even though I often missed the comfort of family and friends. And sometimes when you’re single your sending organization or church can expect more out of you or assume you’ll work longer hours. There are more and more millenial missionaries who are answering the call even while unmarried.
Singleness is the fourth most common reason appointees don’t make it to the mission field or take a long time getting there, according to a Pioneers International report. So don’t let being single stop you from taking that missions trip.
But since then, I’ve come to realize that being a solo missionary has many benefits.
Here are my top 4 benefits of being a solo missionary:
- Reliance on God’s provision: When you’re solo, you rely on God for everything, and it develops an intimacy with the Father that deepens into friendship. You have more time in His presence because you don’t have to share your time with your family. God is near to you. God becomes your comforter, counselor, refuge, father, husband, provider, partner, and cheerleader. You realize that without Him you can do nothing. When you’re weak, He I strong and He is your defender in trials.
- Flexibility: Before I was married, I had the freedom to spontaneously travel wherever I felt led whenever I wanted to. I didn’t have anyone else to answer to. Through my travels, I also grew as a person, and blossomed in self-confidence. I could work longer hours, and open up my home to the community without worrying about a husband or children. This allowed me to be more involved in my local community and church and learn the culture more.
- Friendships: Being solo meant I had more time to nurture friendships both on and off the field. I didn’t have babies to care for, so my priorities were focused on developing healthy and encouraging relationships with other women.
- Time: Being a solo missionary meant I had more free time to engage in my hobbies like writing, gardening, reading, and exercise. I had more time for friends, and to prioritize my relationship with God. I also had more time for personal development, counseling, growing as a person, and self-care and self love. If I wanted to take a long shower, or spend time with Jesus, or talking to friends on the phone, I was free to do so without having a baby or toddler to care for.
How to thrive as a solo missionary without doing life alone
Serving as a single missionary does not mean you have to carry every responsibility by yourself. The freedom I loved in Uganda was a gift, but freedom needs support and boundaries to remain sustainable. Being unmarried is not a reason to work every evening, skip rest, or become the person who always says yes.
- Build a support team before you go. Ask your church or sending organization who will check in with you personally, who you can call when plans fall apart, and how you will stay connected. My guide to preparing for Christian missions can help you think through the practical side.
- Protect time that belongs to you. Make room for friendships, hobbies, rest, and life outside ministry. Flexibility is a benefit of serving solo; it does not make you endlessly available.
- Find community both locally and online. Invest in reciprocal friendships in your host community. For connection with others who understand cross-cultural life, explore Velvet Ashes, a community for women serving overseas, and A Life Overseas, a gathering place for missionaries and aid workers.
- Make space to reflect and ask for help. Use my free self-care worksheets and daily debriefing prompts to notice what you are carrying. Keep a conversation going with trusted people rather than waiting until you feel completely depleted.
If you are discerning whether to go, ask more than “Can I do this alone?” Ask, “What relationships and practical support will help me serve well?” You do not need a spouse to have a meaningful calling, and you do deserve people who care for you as a whole person.
So I hope you understand now the benefits of being a solo or single missionary. It is my greatest hope that women will not feel held back in ministry simply because you are single. You don’t have to wait to be married to follow your calling.
And you are valuable even if you don’t have a husband, or children yet. Motherhood is not your only purpose–you were created for more! Yes it is lonely and there are many challenges, but ultimately you will grow closer to God in the process. Remember to reach out for support in your journey through your church or sending organization because you will need help to remain on the field long term. If you need to educate your home church please share this article with them on what churches should know about being a single missionary.
For more encouragement, read what churches should know about single missionaries and why being single in missions might be better. Download my free ebook on self-care on the mission field by subscribing to my newsletter. If you need more support, you can explore my coaching services.
And as always, be well my loves.
