Infertility

4 Coping Strategies for Infertility During the Holidays

On Christmas day, after an agonizing two week wait following in-vitro fertilization (IVF) treatments in New York, Iā€™ll find out whether or not Iā€™m pregnant. I didnā€™t plan it this way, my heart palpitating with anxiety during an already tender time, and yet like so many things with infertility, it was outside my control. For

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A Missionary’s Guide to Peace in Unrest

This entire year has been a year of clenching. Body curled inward, tight. Neck stiff, shoulders closed. Like many of you, it began with a move. Transition.Ā That cavernous word.Ā As global nomad’s, we call many places home and movement seems to be our mantra. Whether welcome or unwanted, whether reentering after living on the field, being

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What I Learned From a Pregnancy Dream Fulfilled

I got to see my baby today. He’s eight weeks and the size of a wild strawberry, tiny as a jelly bean with little limbs. The heart is already flickering at 172. I’d never seen my baby’s heartbeat. I’d never had a happy ultrasound. On the black and white screenĀ this rainbow babyĀ was hanging out upside

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When You’ve Already Failed at Your Resolutions

Day three into the new year and I’m already failing. At least those are the thoughts I woke up with. There’s nothing like New Year’s resolutions to send you into a shame spiral, where you start hand fisting Oreos while trying to fit everything on your calendar. I’m not unfamiliar with failure.Ā  I spent New

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Anxiety and How Every Bitter Thing is Sweet

I haven’t been writing much lately. Life happened.Ā I’d wanted to fall into summer’s sandy shores and slowed time with abandon. But mostly I got anxiety and tumult.Ā I’m not a busyness lover, I’m a stillness lover. I always know I’m not doing well when the ink from my pen dries up.Ā I hit a deep soul weariness

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These Unfulfilled Longings on Mother’s Day

What to do with all this longing? All of us are longing for something. We’re longing for a husband, we’re aching to have children,Ā we’re aching for the ones we lost, we’re longing to be seen and known by our friends, to feel successful, we’re longing to feel like we’ve finally “made it.” (Whatever that means.)

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