If you’d asked me a few years ago, this wouldn’t have been the hill I staked my flag on. Hell, I’m not even sure I want to now….aren’t Millennials kinda (pardon my French)…assholes? But every day I see beautiful, passionate, world changers torn to bits by the machine that is missions, limping home disillusioned, cynical, […]
The Surprising Ways the Church is Failing Millennial Missionaries Read More »
When you’re in the middle of deep suffering sometimes all you can do is exhale anguished prayers between sobs. Those prayers sound more like “Help” and “Please” than they do anything intelligible. All you can manage is to play worship music over yourself and let the words believe for you when you can’t utter the sounds.
Suffering, The Uninvited Companion: A Scott Shaum Interview Read More »
Day three into the new year and I’m already failing. At least those are the thoughts I woke up with. There’s nothing like New Year’s resolutions to send you into a shame spiral, where you start hand fisting Oreos while trying to fit everything on your calendar. I’m not unfamiliar with failure. I spent New
It was July of 2006 in Mbale, Uganda. I was 25, single, and about to free fall down the side of a 320 ft waterfall. In the beginning abseiling sounded like a good idea, a way to prove to myself that I could get over any of my fears. But once I realized there was just a skinny, African
I came home after a long day in the IDP camps, tired and sweaty with barely enough energy to make myself a sad bowl of pasta (for one) before I curled under the covers. I was journaling when I looked up and saw the largest spider I’d ever seen crawling across the ceiling. I unsuccessfully tried to kill it
The Single Missionary, What the Church Should Know Read More »
I have a confession. I love being alone. This might sound strange to people who gather that I’m an extrovert from my personality, because I love engaging with people and hearing their stories. But the truth is, I’m an introvert. I’m an extroverted introvert. Yes, I’m one of the weird ones, which means I’m often
In January of 2013, after 6 years of running a non-profit in Uganda I moved off the field back to the USA and struggled terribly with re-entry. There were many good, wise reasons for this move, including listening to God’s voice, and hitting burnout, but none of them seemed justifiable enough to qualm the voice in my
It was 2006 and I was sitting in a dimly lit room in Rwanda listening to a female genocide survivor tell me her story of rape and torture. Most of the time her face remained distant, as though she was recounting something that happened to someone else. A fly buzzed around the office table. I could
What Missionaries Should Know about Vicarious Trauma Read More »
After many months of writing and formatting, I’ve finally released my very first eBook A Self-Care Plan for Global Workers (Learn to Prevent Burnout.) I’m very excited about this! This project is very dear to my heart. When I was living in Africa and first trying to create my own self care plan, I searched the
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I still remember crying on my way home as I drove my gray Toyota Hilux truck through the red dirt streets of Gulu, Uganda dodging cows, and children, and potholes. I sobbed my way through the whole story on the truck bed of our grassy compound while my husband listened. The sunflowers wilting in the late
“Why are we afraid of broken things? What if the abundance of communion is only found there in the brokenness of suffering–because suffering is where God lives? Suffering is where God gives the most healing intimacy.” -Ann Voskamp, The Broken Way- Sunset in Cape Town is like a world set on fire. The pinks and
The Broken Way: What I Learned from an African Mental Hospital-I Read More »
Trauma and loss happen to us all. Suffering is a part of life. But sometimes things occur and we don’t know or recognize it as trauma, or as something to be grieved. So we go on living, and eventually these traumas pile high inside us like dirty laundry and the burden begins to take its toll.
