A life interrupted. That’s what this feels like.
Re-entry is close to my heart because mine was so unsettling.
When I left Uganda in 2013, I’d followed a plan. I had the goodbye celebration, like so many global workers right now haven’t. I got to hug my people and cry. I got to revel in the victories. Still, leaving was hurried because I was sick and in the throes of burnout. Things I wanted to do but couldn’t. Heavy failures in my mind that haunted me. It made re-entry even more difficult.
Re-entry is the process of repatriation expats, missionaries, and global workers go through to re-acclimate to their country of origin. Often a grueling process where they don’t feel normal for a long time.
During coronavirus, we are seeing unprecedented masses of families who either had to hurry “home,” move up their furlough, or be stranded in developing nations with limited medical care during coronavirus.
Re-entry alone is challenging. Re-entry during a pandemic is devastating.
My experience was slightly easier than this. After six years of living in Uganda, it was my home. What had been strange and foreign at first, became familiar. The Ankole cows standing proudly in the middle of the red earthed road, the smell of charcoal fires filling the air. The robust sound of the women singing in our compound every morning, clanging pots in the distance. Even the Arabic prayers carried on the wind in the evenings via microphone became a daily comfort.
Leaving the land I loved, the people I loved and had fought so desperately to assist in some way, was excruciating.
Even though the time I’ve been gone now eclipses the time I stayed there, it still feels like that was the bulk of my life and this one is a dream.
I’m not sure how that works. Maybe it was because life was harder, more acute, the moments seem more poignant. Maybe it’s because I woke up every day with a mission or because I built that life brick by brick and it was wholly mine.
Sometimes here, it feels like I’m playing make believe in a life I don’t belong to.
I’m still building a life here that belongs to me.
Maybe it’s because I loved hard, and when we love hard it’s captured like still frames in our mind. Or perhaps because times slows down when our brains are processing new experiences.
Maybe it’s that we never fully “re-enter” because parts of us are strung out over the earth like a jigsaw puzzle missing pieces.
Either way, I ache for it desperately.
For most of us, the way we would leave a country was just as important as how we’d arrived.
We had well-laid plans. And that’s been ripped from the hands of so many.
Choosing between protecting your family or getting to “end well” aren’t really choices at all.
Choosing between the people you love and serve, and personal safety or future plans is incomprehensible.
This coronavirus pandemic has left a trail of hurried flights, panicked packing, jarring departures, and well thought out plans in its wake.
Those who stayed are trapped in places with teetering infrastructures and outdated medical systems trying to assist the people they serve, for the foreseeable future. These are not fair outcomes.
Every day I read another story from a life coaching client or see an instagram post that makes me weep.
Sometimes things get chosen for you whether you want it or not and this a powerless feeling. Or you make a choice between the lesser of two evils and there’s shame underneath it.
There is trauma in this.
Ultimately, more stress—because we are no longer re-entering a world which is stable. Resources we were once dependent on may no longer be available. What could have been a soft landing is hard because the people who could have made it easier are struggling through their own chaos.
The beautiful plan has been thrown in the trash, so how do we cope?
The answer is I don’t know, not really. Not for you. But I can share the self-care rituals that helped me and are still helping me heal from the grief of difficult transitions, even the current one I am still in.
Being heard is the most important thing needed for a healthy reentry. Without being judged or told what you should do.
But this can be hard to come by. Whether you’re a global worker, expat, or just a regular person trying to survive burnout, I believe these tools will help:
1. Find a safe family member, friend, coach, counselor to debrief with
Right now we probably don’t have enough coaches or counselors in the world to process through all this trauma. There are some ones I can recommend here. But we can be that for each other, too. Grieving is essential to this process. Tell your story. If on the other end, listen and offer validating responses, “Wow, what I’m hearing you say is that on Monday you thought you’d be staying and by Thursday night you had to pack and get on a plane leaving many things unsaid and undone. I hear in your voice that was very grief-producing for you.”
2. Download my free printable debriefing worksheets for self-care (and they’re pretty!)
Don’t worry, you can still do this on your own if you need to.
I kept thinking what I could offer to this global community during this pandemic. I’ve been doing this a long time and I have tons of self-care resources. But I wanted to do more.
So I’ve created several free downloadable printable goodies (no strings attached) to help you survive reentry during a pandemic. SELF-CARE = SELF-ACCEPTANCE. Which is so important right now.
A Self-Care Plan Sheet – I recommend doing a new one of these every year or during every major transition
Self-Care Plan Weekly Check-in – if you saw my recent fb post I was talking about a new self-care check in I’m doing myself during this coronavirus quarantine/lockdown. So I created one for you!
Self-Care Ideas – list of self-care ideas that I put into my weekly rituals
Debriefing Writing Prompts -If you can’t process with a coach or counselor I’ve recommended here, then you can use these writing prompts to help you journal through your experiences. You can even use the prompts to have a friend lead you through it
Daily Debriefing Prompts – make journaling a part of your every day life. Research has shown that writing can lead emotional relief, stress reduction, and healing
Self-compassion Exercises – we need to give ourselves a whole lotta grace right now and these exercises will help lead you into self-compassion
3. Share your story
I believe in the power of telling our stories and expressing collective grief and encouragement. I believe in the power of not feeling alone. Please share yours here below in the comments or on FB or instagram.
#Wereinthistogether
4. Share this post with a friend
As a global community we need to be aware of the unique challenges facing missionaries and expats during this pandemic. Forward to a friend or share on Fb. Reach out to someone in need and let them know you are thinking of them. Keep supporting the causes you care about. If you’re in need, ask for help. We can get through this together.
Additional Resources:
Follow me on Facebook or Instagram. I’ll be doing a FUN GIVEAWAY this week for a 1 hour free coaching session for those experiencing re-entry! Comment below with your FAVE SELF-CARE STRATEGY!
New Mini-Debriefing Guide 2020 created by Melissa Chaplin and Sherri Dodd
Facebook Live I did with Melissa Chaplin on How to Thrive During Reentry
Training Melissa Chaplin of the Returning Well handbook did a training on How Caregivers Can Support Global Workers Returning due to Coronavirus
Global Trellis Debriefing COVID-19 for Global Workers
Godspeed Resources is offering free processing groups for global workers affected by COVID-19
My new friend here in Puerto Rico, Lana Shlafer just released a wonderful book called Manifest That Miracle. It’s such an important read for the time we’re living in!
