“All journeys that really matter start deep inside us.”-Michele Perry, Love Has A Face–
I’m learning to live as one who is loved by God.
It isn’t easy sometimes to stop and receive when the needs of so many press down on you.
But it’s the only way to live, its the only way to keep loving and giving out.
Yesterday I prayed a new prayer inspired by my friend Michele who lives in Sudan: “Lord, where are you going today? I want to go there.” Instead of my usual prayer, “Lord what do you want me to do today?”
And as usual my day was full of little interruptions. “Please pray for my daughter, she is sick.” And I stopped the things I was doing. Sometimes they get healed, sometimes they don’t, but ultimately its about love–so I gave her the boda fare to get to the hospital.
I am learning it is not a disappointment not to see a miracle. Because what Jesus is asking is for me to love the person in front of me, no matter if they get healed or not.
Healing is His job. Loving is mine. I am on a journey of learning these things.
People ask me how I can handle all the suffering. Suffering with these women is about loving like Jesus which is about:
“Embracing his cup of suffering as well as His joy. It’s about paying the price to have eyes to see even when its easier to turn away.” (Perry)
I think the answer is that it is always mixed with joy.
When we were worshiping with the mother of Abetty, God’s love and presence moved some very hardened hearts. One woman who I first met 2 years ago, Salome, who has been on my heart and who has been involved in prostitution and is pregnant with another child, she gave her life to Jesus. One soul, I’ve been contending for.
So the joy is mixed with suffering there in the dirt, in the middle of women singing, in the middle of a community exchanging death for life.
