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| Baby E, 11 months |
They say that once you hold your baby you forget everything that happened before. All the pain, all the tears dissolve into the glow of tiny fingers and tiny toes.
The red birth becomes bright.
Even though E* did not come out of my body. In many ways it feels like he’s mine. And when I look at his cheeks and his eyes, and hear his soft baby noises, I too feel the memory slipping away.
But I don’t want to forget that he’s a miracle.
Early this year, N* showed up on our doorstep on a Friday evening. Just a young girl of 14. Just another child in need of help. She asked to sleep under our veranda, to stay warm from the rain. She said someone had told her we help girls.
I don’t know what it was about N* particularly. Maybe it was those big dimples. But I felt a tug at my heart. Just let her stay.
We have so many kids that need our help and it didn’t seem like the “smartest,” decision at the time. A decision that could have repercussions. But I guess it was the holy spirit breathing close.
She was an orphan. Her parents died leaving her to the mercy of relatives who had too many children of their own to take care of her. N* was a burden to them. So they decided to sell her into a child marriage to a local village man. N* refused.
One night as she was walking home from buying food at the market, the man jumped her and raped her, tomatoes smashed on the ground beside her.
So N decided to run away. Her only dream, was to go back to school. But here, you have to pay for it.
N* stayed at our office for 2 weeks while we tried to pray about what to do. She slept on a small mattress on the floor and she helped with cooking. Every day I saw her and looked into those eyes again and could feel the pleading.
Take me home.
Nancy was older than our other girls, but when I prayed, I felt God say “This one.”
When N* moved into our Rescue Home for girls we didn’t know she was pregnant. N* didn’t know she was pregnant. But a few weeks later she started showing signs.
I remember how defeated she looked when we told her she was pregnant. Like all the hope in her world had turned to ash in front of her. No more school. No more future.
She told me, “Mama I can’t take care of this baby.”
And we told her she wouldn’t have to.
I didn’t have a plan. I didn’t know what God would do. In fact, I had a lot of problems staring me in the face. How would we take care of a baby in our home?
Who would we find to adopt the baby?
It all seemed insurmountable. So I turned to Jesus.
All of a sudden, I could see God’s plan all along. Bringing N to us so she wouldn’t have to suffer alone, and allowing us to take her in, so she could be a party of a family, and so E* could be brought into this world to bless another family very far away.
When N* went into labor on Friday, I put God to the test again.
God, you brought her to us, now you have to see her through this.
I can say, it was one of the hardest, worst, few days of my life. To watch this daughter of mine in so much pain, for 3 days, and to know we were at the mercy of the medical facilities in northern Uganda.
I don’t know how many times N told me, “Mama I can’t. Mama I have a wound. Make them take the baby.” But when it came time to push Nancy was focused and calm. God had descended on her.
I held N’s hand as she pushed. I watched E’s head emerge into this world.
And we did it all without a doctor present.
Afterwards, N started bleeding a lot and her uterus was not contracting. Mama Joy and I just looked at each other just praying, and crying.
And once again, I told God, you did not bring her this far to let her die on me.
Those few moments seemed endless.
But she lived and is she is fine. Her only request has been lots of chicken. Which I am happy to concede to.
And E* is asleep in his basket beside me.
And I know without a doubt, God is a God of miracles.
I see it in the eyes of Bijou as she holds baby Priscilla who was also born this week. A baby who most likely would have died without us getting her to the hospital.
And both these children, and their mothers are alive because of Him.
I shudder to think what would have happened to both of them if we had not been here.
I shudder to think of the many children who die because someone said no.
Thank you for helping me do what I love to do. Thank you for helping us every day, to say yes.
Thank you for bringing a life into this world, who will be loved.
